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How to Talk with Kids About Careers

Posted September 14, 2024

As parents, you’ve probably thought about the sex talk, the drug talk and the social media talk. But what about the job talk? This topic is just as important, as it will shape your children’s lives for years to come.

But knowing how to approach about a subject that might seem very distant can be a challenge. Our kids are focused on more immediate issues such as relationships with their friends and grades in school. But it’s important to keep them engaged with this significant topic. Here are some tips and insights to help as you discuss jobs with the young adults in your life.

Why ‘The Job Talk’ Matters

Children are typically exposed to only a fraction of available jobs and industries at home and in their communities. Introducing young adults to the variety of available career options will help them find work that aligns well with their skills and interests. The more adept they are at a given career, the greater their job satisfaction will be, which is a major factor in quality of life.

However, a majority of youth don’t take time to research this vital aspect of their lives, according to the 2023 edition of How to Talk with Youth About Careers by The DeBruce Foundation, which conducts important research on youth and careers.

 “When it comes to deciding on a career or occupation, less than half of the young people in our survey have researched potential earnings, figured out qualifications needed for a job, or even researched a job online.”

Instilling an attitude of exploration can make this process fun and rewarding and set them up for success as they advance in their professional lives. The key is to start early and build upon their experience.

The DeBruce Foundation goes on to say, “meeting young people where they are when it comes to their careers is the first important step to helping young people fulfill their potential.”

You may think kids aren’t interested, but a 2024 report from the Pew Research Center indicates young adults are open to having these discussions, with over 65% turning to their parents for advice on their job and financial situation.

Keep in mind that discussing career options isn’t a one-then-done conversation. As your young adult grows, revisit the topic periodically. Answer questions as they look for work, explore new resources together or ask what they learned from their latest experience. You can help them uncover their likes and dislikes, both of which are valuable in building a career, and encourage them along a path of exploration.

What to Talk About

Finding a job or career isn’t a one-size-fits-all proposition, so tailor your conversation to your child’s unique situation. In addition to being age- and experience-appropriate, you need to consider their thoughts about the future.

Talk about different aspects of work, such as specific tasks required, skills and knowledge needed to succeed, personal interest and enjoyment, wages and longevity. Encourage them to research careers on social media. According to The DeBruce Foundation, the most popular platforms for young adults to research jobs and careers are YouTube, Instagram and TikTok.

Your support can extend beyond conversation by encouraging hands-on exploration. The Kansas State Department of Education offers ideas on how to engage youth in work-based learning activities. Ask friends or people in your community for opportunities like the following.

  • Job shadowing: Observing someone going about their day can be eye-opening for young adults. If you’re worried it might be too early for an experience like this, consider a shorter shadow period such as an hour or two to avoid overtaxing younger adults or the professional they’re shadowing.
  • Mock interviews: Sitting down for a Q&A can go both ways. Youth can practice for job interviews, or they can conduct interviews to learn more about a given industry.
  • Career mentors: Looking for a more senior professional to offer advice and insight can be invaluable as youth advance in their careers.

The DeBruce Foundation also stresses the importance of early work experience.

“Young people with work experience, including part-time jobs, are more confident they will meet their goals, are more likely to have taken active steps to research and prepare for a career, and are more interested in educating themselves about their options … The area where young people say they need the most help, notably, is getting initial work experience.”

From internships and seasonal jobs to volunteering opportunities and entry-level jobs, many pathways can help young adults gain invaluable experience as they’re starting out.

How to Talk to Youth

It can be tempting to offer your opinion and advice, but such well-intentioned sharing of knowledge might come across as a lecture, which can shut down teens. If your teen asks for your advice, by all means provide it. But remember conversations should flow both ways, so if you catch yourself talking a lot, pause and ask a question. The following tips can help guide your efforts.

1. Practice Active Listening

This is probably the most important skill to master when talking to young adults — or anyone for that matter. When you ask a question, really take in the response. Check in on what your child has said, using their own words, and reflect on or clarify their comments.

The Center for Parent and Teen Communication offers some helpful examples of how to incorporate active listening:

  • “I think I heard you say _____.”
  • “Would I be correct to think you meant _____?”
  • “I was following you up until _____. Could you explain what you meant after that?”

2. Be Open

If the conversation goes well, you may learn new things about your teen. Try not to overreact because that can shut down your discussion. Instead, keep calm and be open to what they’re sharing.

If they express a problem, it’s natural to want to go into fix-it mode. If you start telling them what to do, they may withdraw. Instead, guide them through their own problem-solving. Ask what they think the issue is and what are some different ways they could address it. Talk about potential outcomes. Brainstorm together. Then ask which solution feels right to them and why.

Starting at age 15, children are “better able to give reasons for their own choices, including about what is right or wrong,” according to the CDC. Walking them through the process of critical thinking will be far more valuable in the long run than simply telling them what to do.

3. Normalize Their Experience

Young adults are inundated with peer and influencer messaging, and comparisons with curated social media feeds can be damaging. It’s easy for youth to think they’re the only ones struggling with an issue. Let them know their fears or concerns are normal. This will also serve as a good reminder for you and help you stay calm and present in the conversation.

4. Be Positive

Be honest — don’t sugarcoat the truth — but emphasize opportunity. For example, a job market might be tough or a career field might be highly competitive, but youth can position themselves for growth. Focus on actions they can take to address issues or overcome challenges.

Be their cheerleader. Knowing they have a parent or trusted advisor in their corner will help young adults build confidence, which can lead to better outcomes.

5. Be Prepared for Tough Conversations

Not all conversations are easy. If you need to address tough topics like lack of motivation or difficulties meeting goals and expectations, plan to sit down when you’re both calm and focused. Put phones aside and silence devices to create an environment where you won’t be distracted. Give your child your full attention.

If emotions flare during your conversation, tap into empathy for both of you. Acknowledge if you’re feeling frustrated and considering sharing why this is an important topic to you — perhaps you didn’t have the same guidance and struggled early on in your career or you watched your peers advance more quickly because they were better prepared. Also understand your teen might feel frustrated because they don’t feel heard or prepared to navigate this topic. Use active listening and take a time-out if need be.

Talk to young adults early enough that they have time to take any appropriate action. For example, discuss the job search with them before they graduate, so they have time to research career fields and employers, or conduct mock interviews with them several days before an actual interview to give them plenty of time to practice and feel more comfortable fielding questions.

Continue the discussion at various times, such as when they move from research to application phase or a month into an internship or volunteer position.

5. Link Jobs with Financial Literacy

When kids get that first job, congratulate them! Celebrate that major milestone! If their internship or job is paid, you have an excellent opportunity to teach them crucial financial literacy skills.

Talk about the three main ways to use money:

  • Spending: Buying something they want or need
  • Saving: Putting money away for a larger goal in the future
  • Sharing: Donating money to a worthy cause or contributing to life at home

Ask if they have a goal for their earnings. If they don’t, or if they have an unreasonable goal such as buying a new car after a month of work, talk with them about setting goals. Their goal may include any combination of spending, saving and sharing.

When they get their first paycheck, look it over together. Talk about the deductions and other elements. Help them track their earnings against their goal to help them see how much they’re spending, saving and sharing — and how close they are to achieving their goals.

Outsourcing the Support

Sometimes, no matter how hard you try, your kids might not want advice from you. Or they might be interested in a career you’re not familiar with. That’s OK. The best thing you can do in those situations is to connect them with someone else who can help such as a friend, colleague or other resource.

Resources

HirePaths is full of resources to help parents, youth and even educators explore careers together. Your local library, school guidance counselor’s office, area chamber of commerce and community career center are great places to find resources and support.

Depending on your location, some of the following organizations and programs may also be helpful.

For tips on talking about careers with younger children, start with sparks — those little glimmers of interest, ability and personality. Read Encouraging Sparks in Your Kids for more details.

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